I attended the funeral of a woman whom I never met recently. A friend’s sister who lost her short battle with cancer at the age of 54. She left behind a daughter, mother, brother and sister, as well as an entire Catholic Church full of other family and friends who loved her deeply. Going to a funeral is never a joyous occasion. However, being unattached to the deceased completely, I found my mind wandering into some interesting thoughts.

I’m a people watcher. I like to look at people and imagine who they are in this world, how they may be connected to this woman, and what their life has been like with her in it. I see her elderly mother in the first pew, completely devastated by the loss of her child. Someone sitting next to her consoles her and embraces her as she silently dabs away the tears rolling down her cheeks. There is a young girl in the first pew as well, I assume it’s her daughter and I wonder what life will be like for her now. Who will care for her. How will this effect her future. I find myself wondering what my life would have been like without my mother.

By now we are half way thru the 1 hour catholic funeral mass. I’m feeling all the feels because I’m not mourning the loss of a friend, I’m mourning the possibility that I too could be in everyone of their shoes someday. Saying goodbye to my friend, my mom, my loved one. And someday, I’ll be the one in that box, watching as people come to pay their respects and give my family condolences. Who will be there to represent my life that day? What will they all say about my life and the time I spent here on earth?

Leaving the church and stepping out into the bright summer sun, the funeral goers gather in front of the church to discuss the plans for the day. It’s like a trance has been lifted and Saturday rolls on. It’s over. The funeral, the crying, the hymns, the mourning, her life here on this earth…. it’s over. Just like that. Will they speak about her later over lunch and laugh remembering some of their silly memories together? Will they take turns telling their favorite stories and vow to keep them fresh in their minds? To never forget? It’s interesting how a funeral for a stranger will bring you to very real question. What will it be like when I die?

One thing I know for sure, I’m living every second of my day for me! The infinite time of our “entire life” seems to be endless. The end is no where in sight. You’ve got plenty of time… right? Wrong! Make it count! Make it good! Live without regret, without fear of judgment, and without limitations! Your last day could be closer than you think.

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